


It's Not Me Is It?

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: What happened in Cambodia didn't stay in Cambodia... AU. Series 21.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

"Its not me is it?"

Charlie sighed as Duffy's question whirled around in his head. He picked up his whisky glass and took a sip before returning to packing his suitcase ready for his flight back to England the next day. It wasn't the first time an opportunity had opened up to make a proper go of things between them. They'd had so many chances over the years but it had always been a case of either the timing not being right or one of them bottling it. How many chances would they be given before the fates finally gave up?

After placing a few more items in his suitcase he stopped to look at his watch. Duffy's flight back from Thailand was due to land imminently. She'd called earlier to say she'd gotten Mike settled at the rehabilitation centre and that she would be back that evening to once again take over the running of the clinic.

Once the case was packed he zipped it closed and placed it on the floor. He refilled his glass and sat on the bed staring up at the ceiling.

About an hour and a couple of drinks later there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Charlie called out.

The door opened and Duffy peered around it. "Just me." She smiled warmly.

Charlie returned her smile and gestured for her to come in. As she walked closer he noticed something odd in the look in her eyes but decided to wait and see if she explained what was wrong.

"Everything OK?" He ventured softly.

"Yeh all sorted." She replied noncommittally, sitting on the edge of the bed near him.

"Drink?" He asked, gesturing to the whiskey bottle.

She nodded. "Please."

He poured her a glass and then topped up his own. His eyebrow shot up as she downed the drink in one and held the glass out for more. "Steady on..!"

"Needed that." She replied.

He refilled her drink without a word and waited for her to speak again.

It took several minutes but she eventually found her voice again. "Do you really have to go home tomorrow?" She whispered.

Charlie sighed. She was making him feel bad. "You know I do. I need to go home to Louis."

"And Maggie." She added, a bitter edge to her voice.

"Duffy..."

"We could achieve so much here. You and me. Just like the old days." She smiled, taking a large gulp of her drink.

"You seem to be doing a pretty amazing job out here without my help."

"Hmm..." She sighed before lapsing once more into silence.

"I was really hoping I'd be able to tempt you to stay." She smiled impishly as she poured them both a fresh drink.

"You've certainly pulled out all the stops." Charlie chuckled, his fingers brushing against hers as he took his glass back.

"Can't fault a girl for trying." She giggled.

They lapsed into silence again before Charlie sighed. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong or are we just going to drink til we fall asleep?"

"There's nothing wrong." She replied.

"Really? So why else are you knocking that whiskey back like it's water?"

"You can talk!" She shot back pointedly.

He sighed. She wasn't making this easy. "I've told you before, I don't like seeing you get hurt."

"I'm a big girl Charlie..."

"I know that but I can't help it."

"Well I don't need your help!" She fired back, her voice cracking slightly.

"Duffy..?" His concern for her was growing rapidly.

"Don't! Please." She stammered.

"Hey, come here." Charlie replied softly, gently taking her into his arms.

She rested her head against his chest, the beat of his heart instantly soothing her. She wrapped her arms around him, not wanting him to let go.

He placed a gentle kiss on her head, smiling at how soft her hair felt against his cheek as he rested against it. It was one of the many things he'd missed about her since she'd left Holby to live abroad. His mind wandered, thinking of all the other things he missed, so much so that he didn't notice she'd moved til her lips lightly brushed against his.

"Duffy?" He questioned.

Their eyes locked, their lips millimetres apart. Both knew they should walk away from this but the whisky was fogging their ability to make sensible decisions.

The kiss was soft and tender at first but quickly the passions they'd both thought were deeply hidden in the past burst out and overwhelmed them.

Duffy let out a throaty giggle as they fell back onto the bed, wrapped in a passionate embrace.

Clothes were quickly discarded and thrown onto the floor before they crawled under the covers of his bed.

Charlie ran his hands through Duffy's hair as he looked up at her. "I never thought I'd get to do this again." He whispered.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore."

"Oh I want you!" He murmured hotly, pulling her close and kissing her again.

No more words were needed. The only noises in the room from then on were their moans and the creak of bedsprings...

It was midafternoon the next day before Duffy awoke, hungover and aching from the previous night. It didn't take long for her to realise she was alone in the room. She sat up properly, her head spinning. Only her clothes remained on the floor and his suitcase was gone. Deeply hurt she lay back down. The sheets still smelt of him as she wrapped them around herself and began to cry.

A little while later she reawoke once more feeling a little clearer headed. She forced herself out the bed and slowly redressed. It was as she did that she spotted a note on the table. Reaching over she opened it and began to read...

'Duffy,

I'm so sorry I left without saying a proper goodbye but you were sleeping so peacefully and I couldn't face seeing the regret in your eyes when you woke up.

Last night was amazing and I'll always care deeply about you. You are my best friend. But I shouldn't have done what I did last night, you were upset over Mike and I feel I took advantage.

I hope he recovers soon and continues to treat you well as you deserve all the happiness in the world.

Keep in touch and all the best with your clinic,

Charlie xx'

She sighed sadly as she folded the letter and placed it in her pocket. Yes she had been sad about Mike but that had been because he'd dumped her just before she'd flown back to Cambodia, saying he didn't want to be a burden to her.

She took a deep breath and picked up her bag from beside the bed. Time to pick herself up and carry on, alone as always.


	2. Chapter 2

Duffy sighed as she walked quickly through the airport to the taxi rank whilst attempting to keep hold of everything she was carrying. The clothes she was wearing were not helping either. When she'd left Auckland it had been mid-Winter but upon landing she'd discovered that it was a wet but humid Summer's day in Holby. She'd left in a hurry, though, organising things as quickly as possible after receiving the letter from Megan. She just hoped she'd made it here quickly enough to see her dear old friend one last time.

Finding an available taxi she got the attention of the driver. "Don't move while I talk to the man." She told her companion before giving the driver the address and her luggage to be placed in the boot. She then got into the back of the taxi, ensuring they were both securely strapped in before they began the journey to Megan's house.

About half an hour later they pulled up outside the address. Duffy got her belongings from the boot and then took the child's hand, leading them to the door. "This is aunty Megan's house." She told the youngster before addressing the young woman who opened the door. "Hi. My name's Lisa Duffin. Can I see Megan please?"

"Of course. She's in the sitting room." The care worker replied leading them through.

"Duffy?!" Megan gasped, her voice sounded quite weak but she smiled broadly.

"Hi Megan. How are you?"

"Still hanging in there." Megan replied sardonically. "Who's that with you?" She asked, referring to the small child that hid behind Duffy's legs.

"Ah... Yeh... Peter would only keep an eye on the boys." Duffy mumbled.

"That still doesn't answer my question Duffy..." Megan replied.

Duffy sighed and crouched down. "Charlotte say hello to aunty Megan." 

"Hello." The three year old whispered. 

"Hello pet, aren't you a little poppet?" Megan smiled before turning her gaze on Duffy. "Has your mummy been keeping secrets?"

Duffy avoided Megan's pointed look, busying herself with removing her daughter's coat, brushing her hand over the little girl's light red curls.

"We've exchanged letters for years, why did you never mention that you'd had another child?" Megan asked.

"It's complicated." Duffy sighed.

"Would you like a biscuit pet?" Megan asked Charlotte.

The little girl looked up at her mum who nodded to say it was OK. She hurried over excitedly to look in the tin that Megan held out.

Now that she was closer Megan took the opportunity to take a better look at the child. Blue eyes, red/blonde curls and freckles. "Who's her father Duffy?" She asked, deciding to cut straight to the point.

"That's the complicated bit..." Duffy replied.

"I thought it might be." Megan mulled things over for a moment. "There must be a reason you didn't mention anything about her in your letters... Could it be that you were afraid I might say something..?"

"Megan..."

"And the fact you called her Charlotte..."

"So? I gave her the first name Charlotte and the middle name Megan because I wanted to use the names of two of my best friends." Duffy replied, beginning to become defensive.

"Her eyes are nothing like yours so they must come from her father. A man with blue eyes and curly hair..."

"Megan please! Just drop it." Duffy begged.

"I take it Charlie doesn't know?" Megan asked.

"Charlie doesn't know what?" Came a voice from the doorway.

Duffy's head dropped into her hands.

Charlie's gaze fixed on the little girl at Megan's side so he didn't initially spot his best friend. "You found a new friend?" He asked, his jaw dropping slightly as the child turned to look at him, flashing an impish grin that was oh so familiar... "Hi, I'm Charlie. What's your name?"

"My mummy calls me Charlie too!" Charlotte giggled.

Charlie turned just in time to see Duffy hurrying out the room towards the garden.

"Mummy!" Charlotte called out, her bottom lip wobbling.

"Hey, it's OK. You stay with Megan while I have a little chat with your mummy OK? I'll bring her straight back to you. Promise."

Charlie caught up with Duffy in the garden. "This doesn't look much like Auckland." He observed, trying, and failing, to fully keep the sarcastic tone from his voice.

"Megan wrote to me. I had to come back to see her. I wasn't sure I'd ever get the chance to again if I didn't."

"You have a daughter?" Charlie asked, changing the subject. 

Duffy nodded, barely holding back tears.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me Megan was dying?!" Duffy shot back.

"She wrote you a letter."

"Which took over a month to arrive. When I saw the date on it I was terrified I'd arrive here to find I was already too late. We spoke two weeks ago Charlie! You could have told me then." The tears started to roll down her cheeks. 

"And you could have told me about your daughter."

"I tried to!"

"When? I think I'd remember that conversation."

"Everything was so chaotic after you left. I threw myself into running the clinic. I hadn't been feeling well for sometime but I dismissed it. Then I collapsed whilst visiting some patients in one of the rural villages on a blistering hot day. That's when I discovered I was seventeen weeks pregnant. I panicked but a couple of weeks later I screwed up the courage to call you. I needed your support, I was terrified after what happened with Paul. It wasn't you who answered though. She didn't say her name but I'm guessing it was Maggie. As soon as I heard her voice I knew I couldn't tell you. Couldn't ruin your happiness."

"She's mine?" He asked, more to confirm what he'd suspected the second he'd laid eyes on the child.

"Of course she's yours! I'm not so careless that I don't know the identity of the man who fathered my youngest children!" She blurted out angrily.

"What did you say?" He questioned, shocked. Had he heard her right?

"Nothing. Just... Please, just leave it. I just want to spend some time with Megan." She begged, trying to push past him to head back inside.

He blocked her path. "Oh no you don't. You said 'children', I want to know what you meant by that."

She attempted to push past him again. "Just move out of my way!"

"You're running away... We both know what that means!"

"You think you know me so well but really you don't know anything!" She retorted.

"So I'm quickly discovering. How many more secrets you hiding?"

"Maybe if you weren't so wrapped up in your precious Maggie then you'd know!"

"What the hell are you going on about? Maggie and I have been over for ages." He blurted out.

"What?! So all this time you've let me think..."

"You presumed! You were so happy for me, I didn't want to have to admit I'd screwed up again, just like every other time." He sighed.

"You made me look like an idiot!"

"How the hell do you think I feel right now?"

"You're the one who walked out without saying goodbye. You should be thankful I still speak to you after that!"

"I explained why I did that. I told you I was sorry." He sighed before his temper flared again. "That doesn't explain your other lies! How long have you known?"

"You say you were sorry but I was tired of history repeating itself. Tired of being your plaything when you'd had a few too many and couldn't find a better offer." She retorted, avoiding his questions.

"You were pretty quick to say yes on all those occasions so don't try playing the innocent, injured party Duffy coz it doesn't suit you!"

"I have every right to feel injured. You seduced me and then pissed off without a word!" 

"I seduced you? I think you'll find you practically threw yourself at me!" 

"You cocky arsehole!" She spat, the sound of her hand slapping his face reverberating through the air between them. 

"Duffy! What the.?!" He stammered, his hand reaching up to rub his throbbing cheek as Duffy stormed past him and back into the lounge. 

"Sweetheart it's time to go." She told Charlotte who was sat on Megan's lap looking at a book "I'll come back later." She mumbled, unable to meet Megan's eye. 

"Duffy..." Megan sighed as the younger women picked up her daughter and prepared to leave.

"Not now Megan, please! I... I just can't do this right now. I'm here for a few days. I promise I'll come back." Duffy sighed, her eyes full of tears before she turned and left the house.

The front door slammed as Charlie reentered the lounge from the garden, his hand still rubbing at his cheek, his head spinning trying to take in everything that had happened since he'd arrived at Megan's only a short while ago. He sighed as he saw the unimpressed look Megan was aiming in his direction.

"Sounds like you've been a bit of a naughty boy Charlie..!" She remarked sarcastically.

He sighed once more as he removed his hand from his cheek, revealing an angry red mark.

"I've no doubt you deserved that at the very least." Megan commented unsympathetically.

"Good to know whose side you're on without knowing any of the facts." He muttered.

"The fact that she turns up with a child I knew nothing about and then you two have a blazing row in my garden kind of speaks for itself Charlie."

"Well you weren't the only one that didn't know." He sighed, sitting down on the sofa, his head in his hands.

"I presumed that might be the case given her caginess when she first arrived."

"I mean once is bad enough but twice? How did things end up so screwed up between us that she couldn't tell me?"

"Twice?!"

"Ah... Yeh... I... Um..." He stammered.

"I think you'd best start from the beginning Charlie..."

Charlie sighed, he feared this was not going to end well for him...

He tried to explain that they had been drunk both times, that they hadn't meant for it to happen, that he'd kept his distance from her afterwards because he feared that she would be angry and upset over what had happened between them and he didn't want to make things worse.

"You were a married man Charlie!" Megan admonished, referring to the first incident he'd described.

"Barely. My wife had pissed off to Canada and was on the verge of asking me for a divorce!"

"Makes no difference Charlie! Duffy was married then too or did that not enter your thoughts either?"

"You make out like it was all so one sided. She wanted it just as much as I did. She was the one who came to my house not the other way around!"

"It's bad enough that you were stupid enough to sleep together but to not use protection just beggers belief!"

"We were drunk." Charlie sighed.

A few moments of silence descended. Megan shook her head in disbelief. "So that's how you fathered Paul, what about Charlotte?"

Charlie took a deep breath and outlined what had occurred in Cambodia...

"So let me get this straight..." Megan remarked as he finished. "She was really upset so rather than encouraging her to talk about it and providing her with friendly comfort you decided that the best idea was to bed her and then leave without a word the next morning to jump on a plane back to England?"

"When you put it like that it sounds really bad but it wasn't like that..!"

"Oh really?" Megan scoffed.

Charlie raised his hands in defeat. "OK, OK, it probably is as bad as it sounds."

"Hmm... So what are you going to do to fix it?"

"You honestly think this is fixable?" He sighed.

"It's going to take a lot of hard work but if you care about Duffy as much as I suspect you do then it's something you need to do." She fixed him with a pointed stare. "Those children deserve a father Charlie." She added.

Charlie ran his hand through his thinning hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I don't even know where they're staying. For all I know she's on her way back to the airport as we speak."

"I highly doubt that."

"I don't." Charlie muttered. "So what do you suggest I do? Visit every hotel in Holby til I find them?" He asked sarcastically.

"It'd be a good start." She replied.

He looked at her aghast. "You're actually serious aren't you?"

"I did say it would take a lot of hard work to fix. You've got to put the legwork in if you want to make things right again Charlie."

Charlie stood up and walked over to his old friend. "I'll try my best." He replied as he gave her a hug. "Wish me luck." He smiled sadly.

"You don't need luck. Just let her speak and actually listen to what she says."

Charlie nodded and headed out the house to his car. He drove around for over an hour as he slowly crossed off hotels from his list. He had yet to find her and there were only two possibilities left... 

Half an hour later he was back in the town centre having tried the last two hotels he could think of and finding nothing. As he approached the traffic lights he knew he had to make a decision - left, towards home, or right? Suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice in the back of his mind told him to turn right. The road took him down towards the marina. As he drove along he felt like such a fool, of course! Why had he not come here first?

He parked his car and headed inside.

"Charlie Fairhead! Well, well, seems today is quite a day for blasts from the past turning up in my establishment." The old lady behind the counter observed dryly.

"Doris you've barely aged a day since I last saw you!" He smiled.

"You always were a charmer!" She chuckled. "I'm presuming your appearance here is connected to the two guests that arrived earlier today?" She asked.

Charlie nodded. "Can I go up and see them?"

"She seemed quite distressed when they arrived. I was about to take a cup of tea and some toast up to her as she barely ate a thing at dinnertime. Why don't you take it up instead? She's in room four. I'm sure she'd much rather see you than me." Doris smiled, sliding the tray towards him.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." He mumbled as he took the tray and headed up the stairs.

Reaching the door he took a deep breath and knocked.

Several moments passed before the door opened a crack, the lights inside the room dimmed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Duffy hissed.

"Doris asked me to bring this up to you." He replied, gesturing to the tray.

She opened to door just wide enough to take the tray from him. "Thanks. Now piss off!" She went to close the door again but Charlie jammed his foot in it.

"Duffy, please! We need to talk." He implored.

Duffy sighed, damn those baby blue eyes of his! "Just talk!" She replied as she opened the door to let him in...


	3. Chapter 3

Not a word was spoken as Charlie followed Duffy into the room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as she placed the tray on the desk and pulled out the chair to sit on. Reacting to her continued silence he turned his head to explore the room, his eyes quickly adapting to the low light coming from the lamp on the desk. He smiled softly as his gaze came to rest on his daughter who was snuggled up fast asleep in the bed, her hair falling over her face as she sucked her thumb.

Duffy sipped her tea and watched Charlie. Seeing the way he looked at Charlotte made her heart ache. She hadn't meant to hurt him by keeping it all a secret, she'd just... Well, she didn't know what she'd meant to do really. At first her actions had been propelled by fear but over time it had simply become habit, every passing day making it harder to come clean to him.

"Were you just going to not tell me til she was eighteen and suddenly turned up on my doorstep?" He whispered bitterly.

His tone instantly struck a nerve. "If you've just come to pick a fight then you can bugger off!" She hissed, trying to keep her voice low so as not to wake Charlotte.

"Duffy..." He sighed. "Do you honestly expect me not to be angry about this?"

"So this is all about you is it?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"You saw what I went through when Baz took Louis away and yet you still chose to lie to me."

"What would you have done if I had told you?"

"I would have been there for you and them..." He began.

"You'd have 'done the right thing' you mean?" She interrupted bitterly.

"Yes! But you didn't even give me the chance." He sighed.

"I'm not prepared to be settled for Charlie. You made it quite clear who you wanted and it wasn't me."

Charlie sighed. "I thought you felt it was a mistake. I didn't want to make things worse or more awkward."

"You just left, you didn't really give me chance to say much of anything!" She shot back.

Charlie rubbed at the back of his neck. This wasn't getting them anywhere! An awkward silence fell over them as Duffy ate the toast and finished her tea.

Charlotte rolled over in her sleep but didn't wake up.

"Tell me about her." Charlie whispered, changing the direction of the conversation, his eyes fixed on the little girl once more.

"What do you want to know?" Duffy asked, a small smile pulling at the edge of her lips.

"Everything!" He laughed softly. "What does she like to do? When and where was she born?" There were so many things he wanted to ask but he didn't want it to seem like an inquisition.

"Her birthday is May 5th and she was born in Auckland. She loves looking at picture books and running around at the beach. She has lots of friends at the local playgroup we go to twice a week. She's very kind and thoughtful but can also be so cheeky when she wants to be!" Duffy laughed.

"That doesn't surprise me!" Charlie chuckled. "Is she the reason you left Cambodia and went back to New Zealand?"

Duffy nodded. "After what happened with Paul I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to give birth in Cambodia. I originally planned to go back afterwards but the boys were beginning to hate being in Thailand so I made the decision to stay in Auckland and make occasional visits back to the clinic when I could."

"She's a well travelled little lady then?" He smiled. "She looks just like you."

Duffy blushed. "Everyone says that but I see so much of you in her too. Not quite as much as I see in Paul but I guess it's just a matter of time."

Charlie looked up to catch Duffy's eye. "I really wish things had been different." He sighed.

"With the two of us trying to play happy families together?" She couldn't help the edge in his voice.

"Why are you so convinced it would have been a disaster that you weren't even prepared to try?"

"Neither of us has ever been able to make a relationship work for more than five minutes. I didn't want to risk losing you as a friend. It was too much of a gamble."

"Have you ever stopped to consider why our relationships have always failed?"

"Is this where you tell me you've been secretly in love with me for years and that no-one compares to me no matter how hard you try?" She retorted sarcastically.

"And have you laugh in my face? No thanks!" He shot back as he stood up and headed towards the door. There was just no point arguing when she was in this kind of mood.

"And you complain that I'm the one that always runs away..!" She mocked.

"There's no point Duffy. You just seem determined to punish me. I've told you I'm sorry but that's still not enough. I thought I knew you as well as I know myself but it seems not because before today I would never have thought you capable of such cruelty."

Duffy sprang to her feet. "How dare you! How bloody dare you! You think you're so high and mighty that you can just glide through life from one woman to the next unable to make up your mind and then you have the audacity to sulk when one of us decides we're done with your shit and don't want to expose innocent children to it!"

"My shit?! You're not exactly an angel yourself Duffy! You'd rather try and raise four kids by yourself like you're some kind of bloody superwoman than let someone else into your life. I shouldn't really be surprised, it's exactly what you did to Andrew too!"

This time Charlie saw the slap coming and was able to catch hold of her wrist split seconds before it made contact. They were practically toe to toe, their faces so close that despite the dim light he could see the fire burning in her eyes that matched the one that was fast igniting within him once more...

Her closeness and fire were intoxicating to him. He closed to gap between them and captured her lips with his own. Several moments passed as they became lost in the kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance before she pulled back slightly.

"You arrogant son of a bitch!" She hissed but she didn't fight to remove herself from his arms.

"You love it really." He replied smugly.

"In your dreams!" Duffy retorted as she stepped away from him and went over to Charlotte who was becoming restless from all the noise. "Ssh sweetheart go back to sleep." She soothed as the little girl's eyelids flickered open.

"Mama?" Charlotte mumbled sleepily.

"I'm sorry princess, we didn't mean to wake you up." Duffy sighed, rolling her eyes as Charlie's phone began to ring.

Charlie glanced at his phone. Why was work ringing him now? "I'll, um, I'll take this outside." He mumbled, heading out into the corridor but leaving the door slightly ajar. "Hello?" He answered, sighing as Duffy slammed the door shut behind him.

Charlotte's face screwed in confusion as she watched her mum. She rubbed at her eyes. "Mama?"

"Yes princess?" Duffy replied as she sat down on the bed.

"Who that man?"

"He's..." Duffy hesitated. "He's... My friend." She sighed.

"Why you sad?" Charlotte asked, shifting to lay her head in her mum's lap.

"I'm OK." Duffy sighed, absentmindedly wrapping her daughter's curls around her fingers.

"Love you mama." Charlotte murmured as she cuddled closer.

The little girl had almost fallen asleep again when there was a light knock on the door.

"Go away!" Duffy sighed.

"Duffy, please!" Charlie replied. "I need to talk to you, its important!"

"Charlie, I'm tired. Won't Louis be starting to wonder where you are?"

"He's at summer camp." Charlie sighed. "Please will you just open the bloody door? This is ridiculous!"

"Just go Charlie! So help me if you wake my daughter up again..."

"Our daughter, Duffy, you can't keep running away from that!"

Charlie sighed as he received no reply. He really didn't want to have to do this through a closed door but she was leaving him with no choice. "Duffy... That call was from the hospital. Megan has been admitted. It... It doesn't look good..." He choked out.

Duffy gasped. "I swear if this is a ploy to get me to let you back in..." She muttered as she opened the door. The rest of her words died on her lips as she saw Charlie's face. "No..!" She whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

Charlie held out his arms towards her as she crumpled into his embrace, her tears breaking free and running down her cheeks. "Come with me to the hospital?" He suggested softly.

Duffy nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she re-entered the room, emerging moments later with a sleepy looking Charlotte.

Very little was said by either as Charlie drove the familar route to the hospital and pulled up in his usual parking space. He was about to climb out of the car when suddenly Duffy reached out and grasped his hand.

"She has to be OK. I'm not ready..." Duffy whispered, her voice small and breaking.

Charlie pulled her into a hug, placing a soft kiss on her hair. "We'll do this together." He promised.

"OK." Duffy replied before getting out of her seat and moving towards the back of the car. 

"Please let me..?" Charlie asked as he opened the back door of the car.

Duffy nodded, allowing Charlie to pick up Charlotte and carry her.

Charlie's heart swelled with love as the little girl moved to wrap her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder.

They entered the department and Charlie quickly located Tess. "Can you take us through to Megan?" He asked.

Tess nodded, giving Charlie a bemused look at his companions.

Noticing the look Duffy forced a smile at the other woman. "Hi, I'm Duffy. I, um, used to do your job." She explained.

"Oh, you're Duffy..!" Tess replied.

Duffy's eyebrow rose in response, her eyes narrowing as she turned to Charlie for an explanation.

"Tess, um, she was working here when I went over to help you with the clinic."

"I see." Duffy commented though her tone betrayed the fact that she wasn't completely convinced.

They arrived at the doors to resus. "Would you like me to keep an eye on her whilst you go in?" Tess offered, turning to Duffy.

Duffy hesitated. The nurse in her knew that resus was no place for a three year old but at the same time she wasn't comfortable with leaving Charlotte with someone she'd just met.

"How about if Tess stays right here with Charlotte so you can still see her through the doors?" Charlie suggested.

Duffy reluctantly agreed but she turned away as Charlie handed Charlotte over.

Charlie reached out to wrap a comforting arm around Duffy's shoulder as he guided her into resus.

Duffy looked around the room that up until a few years ago had been like a second home to her for so long. The comfort of the familar was quickly replaced by stomach churning fear as she took in Megan lying attached to so many wires and machines. Seeing the tools of her trade attached to a cherished friend was something she'd never get used to.

Charlie stepped towards the bed and gently took hold of the older woman's hand. "Megan, we're here." He whispered. Noticing that Duffy was rooted to the spot he reached out with his other hand, taking hold of hers and moving it so that it was nestled between his and Megan's.

Duffy smiled softly, taking great comfort in the familiar warmth of Charlie's hand. Despite the mess they'd made of things between them she couldn't help but feel at home when she was with him. Maybe that's why she'd pushed him away - the fear of becoming so reliant on that feeling for comfort once more. She lay her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Charlie turned and placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry too."

"There's so many things I want to say." Duffy sighed squeezing Megan's fingers.

"I know what you mean. Too many things have been left unsaid for too long. She said I needed to let you speak and actually listen to what you say." He sighed. "I've not done a very good job of that have I?"

Duffy chuckled lightly. "Neither of us has ever been much good at that really."

"Please let me be a part of their lives. And yours."

"How do you plan to do that?" She asked.

"Come home Duffy." He begged. "Come back to Holby and we can make things work."

"I can't just rip the boys out of school and uproot them from everything they know."

"You did just that when you originally decided to run away to New Zealand with Ryan and then again when that all went tits up and you decided to move to Cambodia."

Duffy pulled her hand away and step back from him. "You still can't cope with the fact that I decided there was a life for me beyond these walls. You're still stuck and one day very soon this is all you'll have left. You'll be a bitter old man with nothing to show for his life."

"She's got a point Charlie." Megan remarked in a croaky whisper.

"Megan!" Charlie gasped.

"Must you two fight when I'm trying to sleep?" Megan grumbled.

"Sorry." They both mumbled, chastised.

"I'd like to go home now." Megan asserted.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..." Duffy began.

"I've spent enough of my life in this hospital, I don't intend to die here too."

"You can't go home by yourself though." Charlie countered.

"Lucky I know a couple of highly qualified nurses then isn't it?"

Duffy rolled her eyes. "Subtle Megan." She smirked.

"Indulge an old lady in her final days?" Megan smiled.

"Please stop talking like that!" Duffy begged, her voice breaking.

"Time to face facts Duffy." Megan sighed, growing tired.

"If you rest for a while I'll go see what I can do." Charlie offered.

Megan nodded, realising she'd have to play it Charlie's way if she was to have a chance of getting what she wanted.

"Keep an eye on her and make sure she behaves!" Charlie remarked to Duffy. "I'll be back shortly." He added before leaving resus.

"I don't know what he thinks I'm going to do." Megan grumbled.

"I think we've both learnt never to underestimate you." Duffy replied. "You're supposed to be sleeping."

"Hmm..." Megan retorted dismissively. Silence descended and Duffy pulled up a chair. She thought Megan had fallen asleep when suddenly the older woman spoke again. "I'm so pleased you came back."

"As soon as I read your letter I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't." Duffy admitted.

"You and Charlie really need to sort things out."

"It's not quite that simple." Duffy sighed.

"That's only because you two insist on making things so complicated."

"How is it not complicated? Me and the kids live in Auckland and he lives here. I can't just uproot them because he's the most bloody stubborn person I've ever met!"

"He's not the only one who's stubborn Duffy."

"So you're taking his side..?"

"I'm not taking anyone's side, pet."

"Urgh!" Duffy ran her hands through her hair. "This was all so much easier before today." She sighed.

"Easier maybe but neither of you can be truly happy til it's all out in the open and resolved."

"I don't have a clue how I'm going to resolve this." Duffy admitted.

"Well you've taken the first step by telling Charlie that he's Charlotte and Paul's dad." Spotting the look of shock on Duffy's face Megan continued. "Yes I know all about that little secret too. Anything else you fancy confessing to whilst we're here?" Megan asked pointedly.

"With Paul I honestly wasn't sure for a long time." Duffy sighed. "I know that doesn't make me sound very good so feel free to judge my 'loose morals'..."

"I would never judge you. You're my friend. As is Charlie. All I want is to see you both happy. Whether that's together or apart is up to the two of you to decide."

"I do really care about him and never meant to hurt him." Duffy whispered as she lay her head on the bed next to Megan's arm. The long and eventful day was beginning to catch up with her.

Megan shifted her hand slightly to stroke Duffy's reddish blonde hair and it wasn't long before both women gave in to their obvious exhaustion.

Having releaved Tess of a fast asleep Charlotte and organised for Megan to return home Charlie smiled softly as he saw the two women fast asleep. They looked just like mother and daughter, heck, there had been times over the years where Megan had been more like a mother to Duffy than her own mum had been. The scene was tinged with sadness, however, as, after talking to the doctor, he knew just how little time Megan had left.

He walked over and gently shook Duffy awake. As she looked up at him through sleepy eyes he gestured for her to join him outside.

Once they were in the corridor Charlie turned towards her and explained the situation, keeping his voice low. "They're letting her go home but..." He swallowed back a sob. "They don't think she's got much longer, a couple of days at most..."

"But..!"

"I'm going to stay with her but..." He sighed. "I can't do this alone. I know things are difficult between us but there's no-one else I'd rather have by my side through all of this. I'll beg you if I have to!" He added, forcing a weak smile.

She reached out and squeezed his arm. "I'm not going to make you beg." She smiled softly. "Let's take Megan home."


	4. Chapter 4

Duffy awoke early the next morning, the time difference, jetlag and emotional turmoil of the last twenty four hours playing havoc with her sleep pattern. Seeing that Charlotte was still asleep she made her way quietly downstairs. She smiled as she saw Charlie half hanging off the sofa snoring, a blanket trailing on the floor. He'd insisted on sleeping there next to the bed that had been installed in the lounge for Megan to make it easier for her whilst Duffy and Charlotte took Megan's old bedroom upstairs. Despite everything he did always try his best to be a gentleman.

She made herself a cup of coffee and went out into the garden to get some fresh air. The sky was cloudless so she hoped they'd get some sunshine after the dreary weather of the previous day.

Unbeknownst to Duffy the sounds of her pottering in the kitchen had awoken Charlie. He made himself a coffee from the still hot kettle and lent against the doorframe watching her, mesmerised by the way the early morning light glinted off her hair. How had he let her go? He'd been such a fool!

Several minutes passed before either of them spoke. "Its rude to stare." Duffy remarked without turning around.

"How did you..?"

"I can hear you breathing Charlie." She chuckled.

He blushed at being caught red handed. "Um... Would you like me to make you some breakfast?" He offered.

She finally turned to face him, a look of amusement on her face. "Unless your cooking has gotten significantly better in the last few years I think I'll pass!" She giggled.

"I think I can manage cereal or toast without causing too much damage to the kitchen."

"It's OK, I'm not really hungry right now." She sighed.

"Oh, OK..." Charlie frowned.

"Oh don't give me that look Charlie. My stomach is still on New Zealand time."

"Hmm..." He replied, unconvinced. "We can see how Megan feels but I thought the four of us could have a nice meal here later."

"Sounds like a lovely idea." Duffy smiled. "I'll cook and you can do the washing up!" She teased.

"Fine." He grumbled playfully.

After waking and reluctantly allowing Duffy to help her get washed and dressed Megan had agreed that the meal sounded like a lovely idea. Some of her family were visiting in the afternoon so Charlie and Duffy took the opportunity to go to the supermarket and take Charlotte to the park for a run around. Duffy had decided to make a simple pasta dish followed by some ice cream. They were only in the second aisle of the shop before they began to disagree.

"But we need this." Charlie commented, holding up a jar.

"No we don't. That's cheating!" Duffy replied.

"It's a jar of pasta sauce, how is that cheating?"

"I can make the sauce from scratch, its better that way." She explained.

"You planning to make the pasta and ice cream from scratch too?"

"Oh don't be ridiculous Charlie!"

"Oh I'm ridiculous now am I?" He huffed.

Charlotte sat in the trolley looking backwards and forwards between the two adults. She really wished they'd stop arguing and take her to the park like they'd promised. Supermarkets were so boring! "Park! Wanna go park!" She announced loudly.

"OK, OK, mummy's nearly finished princess."

They managed to get round the rest of the supermarket without any further incidents and, after packing the shopping into the boot of Charlie's car, they headed over to the nearby park.

Charlie gasped with astonishment as Charlotte ran straight towards the climbing frame, scrambling up it like a monkey. "She's utterly fearless!"

"With three older brothers she doesn't do shy and retiring." Duffy laughed.

"She's not the only one." He smirked.

Charlotte jumped down and ran over to the swings. "Push me!"

"Do you want to push her on the swings?" Duffy asked Charlie shyly.

"If that's OK?" He smiled.

Duffy nodded. "She loves the swings."

Charlie smiled as he headed over to the swings to join Charlotte. His grin widened as she squealed and giggled in delight as he pushed her into the air. After a few minutes the youngster decided she'd had enough of the swing and dragged Charlie over to the seesaw.

"Charlie?" Charlotte asked nervously.

"Yes princess?" He asked as he climbed onto the other end of the seesaw.

"Do you like my mummy?"

Charlie smiled. Though Charlotte had inherited his blue eyes the look she gave him was pure Duffy. "Yes I do. She's very special to me."

"Good." Charlotte nodded. "Mummy likes you too."

Charlie sighed. If only it was that simple...

"You can be mummy's boyfriend!" Charlotte continued. "Mummy not have a boyfriend. Peter not like mummy having boyfriends but I tell him you are nice."

"You want me to be your mummy's boyfriend?" Charlie asked, amused.

Charlotte nodded enthusiastically before moving on to another piece of equipment. She eventually bounced back over to her mum. "Charlie your boyfriend." She announced with a grin.

"Is he now?" Duffy replied, shooting Charlie a look.

Charlie shrugged, attempting to look innocent. "She thinks I'm nice so Peter will be OK with me being your boyfriend." He explained.

"You are such a cheeky monkey!" Duffy chuckled, bending down to tweek Charlotte's nose. "You can play on one more thing and then we're heading back."

"Yay!" Charlotte cheered, running back to the climbing frame.

Duffy sighed as she stood back up. "I don't know how I'm going to handle it with her when..." She couldn't bring herself to say the words. "Watching her with Megan earlier, they've bonded and now it's all going to be snatched away from her." A tear slipped down Duffy's cheek.

Charlie placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. "You're not on your own in this. We'll handle it together."

Duffy looked up, her features unreadable as she reached up and kissed him. The kiss was gentler than the one they'd shared the previous evening but it was much more meaningful. She blushed as they parted.

"I enjoyed that." Charlie whispered.

"So did I." Duffy smiled. "We can try and talk properly later if you want?"

"I'd really like that." He replied, releasing his arms from around her before shyly reaching for her hand. His heart leapt as she accepted his hand in hers. It felt like it was ready to burst when moments later Charlotte came running back over and grasped his other hand.

After arriving back at Megan's the two of them quickly settled into a natural rhythm to ensure everything was taken care of quickly and efficiently. Megan smiled, clearly seeing that something had shifted between the pair of them.

Later that evening after they'd finished eating the dinner Duffy had prepared, a meal that Megan had enjoyed despite having little in the way of an appetite for but had forced herself to eat after seeing the effort her younger friend had gone to, it was clear that Megan was beginning to struggle.

After giving Charlotte a bath Duffy brought the youngster downstairs to say goodnight. Megan gestured for her to be placed up on the bed and gave the little girl a cuddle and a kiss.

Charlie reached over to help as he noticed that Megan was struggling with the clasp of the necklace she wore. He reclasped it and handed it back to Megan who placed it around Charlotte's neck. "I want you to have this, poppet, to remember me by." She whispered, kissing the child once more.

Charlotte nodded, her fingers playing with the cruxifix around her neck, not really understanding what was going on but sensing the serious atmosphere amongst the grown ups. She smiled and said goodnight before heading up to bed.

When Duffy came downstairs a little while later she was greeted by a frustrated Charlie. He was glaring at Megan who had her arms folded in defiance.

"I was only gone for ten minutes." Duffy sighed.

"She won't let me help her." Charlie complained, gesturing to the nightgown that lay on the edge of the bed. 

"Damn right I won't Charlie Fairhead!" Megan retorted.

"How about I help you whilst Charlie does the washing up?" Duffy suggested.

Megan sighed. "Fine." As Charlie headed towards the kitchen she couldn't help but add. "Just because one nurse in this room has let you see what's under her uniform doesn't mean we all will!"

"Megan!" Duffy gasped, flushing a deep shade of scarlet.

Charlie chuckled loudly. "I never had you down as the jealous type Megan." He teased.

"Oh in your dreams Fairhead!" Megan laughed.

Once he was in the kitchen Duffy picked up Megan's nightgown. "This is beautiful!"

"Got to look my best to meet my maker." Megan replied softly.

Duffy sighed but didn't reply as she helped Megan to get changed.

"I know you and Charlie don't believe in that sort of thing but it gives me comfort."

"It's not that..." Duffy swallowed.

"Death gets us all in the end, pet, there's only so long you can outrun it."

Duffy sighed. She knew Megan was right but that didn't make it any easier.

By the time Charlie had finished the washing up the two women were sat chatting.

Megan looked up as she heard him come in. "Can you get the blue folder out of that sideboard Charlie? There's some things I need to show you both."

As instructed Charlie got the folder and brought it over.

"Open it." Megan told him.

Having been a nurse almost his entire adult life he didn't have to ask what the first document was, he recognised it instantly - a Do Not Rescitate form.

"It's all above board and legal." Megan remarked.

Charlie swallowed nervously before showing the document to Duffy. He wasn't surprised by the myriad of emotions that flickered across her green eyes. Allowing her to process the document, Charlie turned to look through the rest of the folder. It contained all the things he was expecting - paperwork for the house, insurance documentation, bank details and, finally, Megan's will.

"Feel free to have a nosy if you want but I can tell you now you're both in it and don't even think about arguing!" Megan told them firmly, in reference to the will.

Duffy put her head in her hands. She couldn't believe they were actually having this conversation. Seeing the DNR had brought back unpleasant memories, making her head spin and her chest feel tight. She quietly excused herself to the garden.

By the time Charlie followed her outside a couple of minutes later tears were streaming down her cheeks. He took her gently into his arms. It always felt like a punch to the gut to see her cry. She so rarely let her vulnerability truly show.

Once she finally felt in control of her emotions again Duffy stepped back and wiped her face with her hands. "Sorry." She mumbled.

Charlie placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up. "Don't ever apologise for being upset. I understand how hard this must be for you." He stroked her cheek with his other hand. "Are you ready to go back inside?"

Duffy nodded, took a deep breath and moved closer for another brief cuddle before heading back inside.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting aimlessly and pottering around the downstairs during periods where Megan was sleeping.

"You should go up to bed. It's getting late." Charlie suggested to Duffy as the clock neared midnight.

"No. I'm staying down here tonight. We can take it in turns to be awake." She countered.

"OK. I'll take the first two hours." He offered.

Duffy nodded and grabbed the blanket he'd used the previous night and curled up on the sofa. "Wake me if anything happens." She insisted.

It was about 3.30am when Duffy was startled from a half doze, the book she'd been reading hanging limply in her hand, by the sound of Megan wheezing. She immediately dropped the book and leapt to the older woman's side. "Breathe on this. You're OK." She whispered, holding the oxygen mask up to Megan's face.

It took a few minutes but finally Megan was able to breath properly again.

"You frightened me for a moment there." Duffy sighed.

"Got to... Keep you... On your toes..." Megan replied with difficulty.

"Not funny." Duffy glared, shaking her head.

"Does he always snore?" Megan asked, referring to Charlie.

"You ask like I'd know."

No words were necessary, the look on Megan's face said all that was needed.

Duffy rolled her eyes. "Seriously?!" 

"How long?" Megan asked. "I told him no." She smiled. "He didn't listen." 

"You told him no?" Duffy rubbed her forehead. "I am a grown up you know!"

"I know." Megan coughed. "Didn't want... You... Hurt..."

Duffy squeezed Megan's hand.

"I was wrong." Megan rubbed her chest. "He loves you."

"I love him too." Duffy whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. Seeing that Megan was tiring she gently encouraged her friend to lie back down. "Rest now. We're not going anywhere."

A little before 6am, as the sun began to peek above the horizon, Charlie noticed Megan's eyelids flutter open. She turned her head slightly towards the window but didn't speak. He rose from the sofa and moved to stand in her eyeline. "Do you want me to open the curtains?" He asked.

Megan blinked but still didn't speak. As he moved closer to open the curtains he noticed that her breathing seemed different. He squeezed her hand. "Its ok." He reassured her, his voice barely a whisper.

Once the curtains were open, the muted half-light of dawn entered the room. It was a time of day like no other - light but still.

Charlie moved back to the sofa and gently shook Duffy awake.

"Huh?" She mumbled, her eyes only half open.

"You made me promise to wake you." He reminded her softly.

It took a few seconds for her brain to register his words before fear and pain filled her features. "No..." She gasped.

Charlie wrapped a comforting arm around Duffy's shoulders as she stood up. "I don't think it'll be much longer." He whispered.

Duffy tried her hardest not to cry as she took hold of Megan's hand but a couple of tears escaped.

Charlie wrapped his free hand round the women's joined hands. "Don't fight it, we've got you, just let yourself gently drift." He whispered to Megan.

The next few minutes passed peacefully as Megan closed her eyes and her breathing became softer until finally there was nothing. Charlie reached over and gently checked for a pulse before turning to Duffy and shaking his head.

Duffy stood frozen to the spot, her hand still clutching Megan's as the tears silently poured from her eyes.

Suddenly there was a little voice from the doorway. "Mummy?"

Duffy's face filled with panic. What was she going to tell Charlotte?

Charlie squeezed Duffy's hand before walking over to Charlotte, crouching down to the three year old's level. "Mummy's ok. How about you go back upstairs and I'll make you some breakfast?"

The little girl smiled and scampered back up to the bedroom. Charlie made her a bowl of cereal and followed her up.

By the time he came back downstairs Duffy was holding Megan, her eyes red and puffy from the tears that were still falling.

"I've wasted so much time!" Duffy choked out.

Charlie walked over and gently loosened Duffy's grip. "Now isn't the time for regrets." He sighed.

"I..." Duffy choked out before crumpled into Charlie's arms, completely overwrought.

Eventually Charlie managed to convince Duffy to go for a lie down. He then looked for ways to distract Charlotte whilst he made the necessary calls.

Once all the arrangements were sorted out Charlie insisted that Duffy and Charlotte spend their last night in England at his house. This led to the youngster asking lots of questions about why she was going to be sleeping in a "boy's bedroom". Charlie awkwardly explained that he had a son, leaving out the minor detail that the boy was Charlotte's half brother.

Once she was asleep Charlie and Duffy sat down on the sofa to have the conversation they'd promised themselves that they'd have but had so far been putting off.

"Come back to New Zealand with us!" Duffy blurted out.

"I can't just drop everything Duffy..!" He began.

"You would if you loved me!" She interrupted.

"What the hell do you expect me to do? Tell Louis when he gets back from summer camp tomorrow that we're moving to New Zealand coz he's got a half brother and sister that he knew nothing about?!" Charlie replied, aspirated.

"I should have known you wouldn't change!" She shot back before storming out the room and up to bed, leaving Charlie sat on the sofa with his head in his hands.


	5. Chapter 5

After their huge row Charlie and Duffy had just about managed to be civil to each other the following morning before Duffy and Charlotte's flight back to New Zealand.

Just over a week later Duffy arrived back in England, alone, for a flying visit to attend Megan's funeral.

Arriving at the church she purposefully ignored Charlie and instead focused on talking to the surprising number of people she recognised from the old days. The biggest shock of all was seeing Suzie, it had been more than twenty years since their paths had last crossed.

Within minutes though it was like no time had passed at all as they fell back into their old chatty ways, updating each other on what they'd been up to. Suzie had been unable to cover her shock at discovering that Duffy, her once utterly naive and giggly old chum, was now a mum of four living in New Zealand!

Charlie sighed as he looked over at the two women chatting. He'd managed to catch Duffy's eye once since she had arrived and she'd given him the filthiest of looks that had led to him not really knowing what to do with himself as a result. She was an intoxicating blend of fire and ice - and he'd well and truly fucked up his chances with her.

She hadn't even picked up the phone when he'd rung to give her the details of the funeral. She'd let it go through to answerphone and not bothered to return his call or any of the messages and emails he'd sent.

As he sat down in a pew he could almost feel Megan's hand giving him a cuff round the back of his head from beyond the grave, her voice echoing in his head telling him how he'd been a fool and, if he was very lucky, he might just get one last chance to fix it. A chance that he mustn't blow or she'd haunt him forever!

Though surrounded by friends in the packed church Duffy had never felt more alone. She glanced over at Charlie, he was hunched over, his head down. Part of her wanted to go over and try to comfort him but a louder part stopped her, reminding her not to allow herself to be hurt again by him.

The service was perfectly Megan - heartfelt but with an underlying current of humour. Charlie gave part of the eulogy and Duffy had read Megan's favourite poem.

At the wake afterwards Duffy was still continuing to avoid Charlie. That was until Charlie returned inside from fetching something from his car and walked straight into her as she left the toilets.

"Ow!" Charlie yelped. It wasn't so much the collision that had hurt as the heel of Duffy's stiletto landing on his toes.

"Sorry." She mumbled, moving her foot and attempting to get past him but he repeatedly blocked her path.

"We need to talk." He told her.

"No we don't. I've said everything I need to already."

"There's something I want to show you that might change your mind on that decision."

"I'm not interested Charlie. At 7.30pm I get on that plane and I'm never coming back here ever again."

"Duffy, please! Just give me one last chance!" He begged. He sighed as she rolled her eyes, her arms crossed under her chest. He forced his gaze back up to her face, willing himself not to become distracted. He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and held out a letter towards her. "I want you to read this."

Duffy took hold of the letter. The envelope wasn't sealed. She opened the letter and began to read, her eyes widening with every sentance. "Is this for real?" She gasped.

"Completely. I'm going to hand it in as soon as I leave here."

"What are you planning to do afterwards?"

"Well I'll have to work out my notice but I was kinda hoping that the offer I got last week from an utterly infuriating yet stunningly beautiful redhead to come live with her in New Zealand was still available..."

"You've done all this..." She gestured to the letter. "...for me?" She gasped.

"You were right before when you said I needed to figure out what was most important to me. These last couple of weeks have made me realise what that is and I don't want you to end up being the one I foolishly let leave forever."

"I..." She didn't really know what to say.

"You don't need to give me an answer straight away. Just promise me you'll think about it?"

Duffy nodded, her head spinning as she handed the letter back to him. She watched as he headed back into the bar before she turned and walked outside. She sat on the wall on the edge of the carpark and stared up into the sky. She lost track of time until suddenly something soft dropped from the sky and brushed against her hand as it rested on the wall. She looked down and picked it up. It was a white feather. She smiled and nodded. "OK Megan, I get the hint!" She whispered, giggling, before heading back inside.

Once back in the main room she found him siting by himself in the corner picking at a sandwich. She strode up to him and lent over to steal a crisp off his plate before sliding into the chair opposite. "There's a few practicalities to consider first..." She began. "Louis would have to share a room with Jake and you, well, you'd have to share my room unless you really like sleeping on the sofa..!" She smirked.

"Oh I think I can get used to sharing." He grinned. "Will you come with me to hand in my resignation?"

"If you want me to? We can go on the way to the airport." She suggested.

"That's a good idea. I need to make a quick detour to my house on the way though." 

"Sure." She replied, a glint of curiosity in her eyes but he wasn't forthcoming with any further information. After taking a quick glance around the room she picked up her chair and scooted it around the table so it was next to his rather than opposite. 

"I'm sorry for the amount of times I've screwed things up between us..." Charlie sighed.

Duffy placed her finger gently against his lips to quieten his apologies. "Let's not think about that now."

Charlie smiled, finding himself becoming quickly lost in her eyes.

Duffy chuckled good-naturedly as she noticed his attention begin to wander. She removed her finger and replaced it with her lips giving him a gentle kiss.

When they parted moments later Charlie rested his forehead against hers. "I'm not sure it's the done thing to make out at a wake..!" He laughed.

"True but I'm sure Megan wouldn't bat an eyelid." Duffy replied with a smile. "She admitted she was wrong to try and keep us apart." She added.

Charlie smiled. "She was a woman of strong opinions but she was always willing to admit when she'd misjudged a situation."

Charlie and Duffy spent the next half hour catching up with old friends and some of Megan's family before grabbing Duffy's hand luggage bag ready for her flight home.

It didn't take long before they arrived at Charlie's house. "I'll be a few minutes so you might as well come in for a coffee." He smiled.

Duffy made herself comfy on the sofa whilst Charlie disappeared upstairs. She stretched out her feet as she debated changing her shoes now or waiting til she was on the plane. She was about to go fetch her trainers when Charlie arrived back downstairs.

"Louis found this under his bed the other day." Charlie explained, holding out a teddy towards her.

Duffy took hold of the teddy with a smile. "I've spent days trying to find that! Charlotte swore she didn't take it to England with her." She rolled her eyes.

Charlie waited patiently to see how long it would take Duffy to notice what he'd handed over with the bear.

"Charlotte will be so pleased to be reunited with Mr Ted." Duffy smiled as she straightened out the bear's waistcoat. She shot Charlie a bemused look as she noticed the bear had a chain around its neck.

"Open it." He urged softly.

It was then that she realised the bracelet had a heart shaped pendant on it with a hinge down one side. Placing her fingernail in the clasp she flicked it open. Inside was an inscription - 'Whether near or far you'll forever hold my heart'.

"I've had it for a long time but I never had the guts to give it to you. I want you to know that I'm serious about us."

Duffy's eyes misted up as Charlie helped her place the bracelet around her wrist. "Its beautiful." She murmured.

"Just like you." The words were out of his mouth before he had chance to consider how corny he sounded.

Duffy giggled, a slight blush colouring her cheeks.

"That was such a lame thing to say wasn't it?"

"No. I'm just not quite used to you paying me those sorts of compliments when you're sober!" She teased.

"Yes, well..." Any further words were cut off as she quickly lent forwards and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.

When they eventually broke apart, mainly due to a need to breathe, Duffy giggled. "I thought that would reduce the risk of you saying something stupid!"

Charlie pouted but deep down he knew she was right. He wasn't sure what it was about her but he did seem to so often end up saying the dumbest things to her..!

"Oh don't flash those baby blues at me! I'll end up missing my flight!"

Charlie laughed. "You'd make me be the one to explain why to the kids wouldn't you?"

"Of course!"

"It's a shame we're so pressed for time..." He sighed, stroking his hand up her thigh and over her hip.

"Four weeks." She smiled. "Four short weeks is all you have to wait."

"That's ages! Can't we just..?" His eyes flickered in the direction of the stairs.

She made a great show of mulling over his suggestion. "Its tempting but I remember what happened the last two times I allowed myself to be charmed into your bed..."

"Yes, well..." He cleared his throat. "We, um, got caught up in the moment..!" He stammered.

"We certainly did!" She giggled. "We best go hand in that letter of yours." She reminded him.

Charlie nodded and they made their way to the hospital. Duffy decided to wait in Charlie's office whilst he went up to see HR. She smiled as she looked around the room, slightly surprised by how little had changed in the time she'd been away. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she hopped up to sit on the edge of the desk, her legs swinging in the air as she lent back on her hands.

She hadn't moved by the time Charlie rejoined her. "All done, just need to..." He began as he walked through the door. Catching sight of her he stopped, his hand still on the handle. "Well that's a sight I've missed..!" He smirked, his eyes roaming her figure.

"Lock the door." She grinned.

Josh was surprised to see the light to Charlie's office on as he passed through reception and even more so when the office door opened as he approached it and he narrowly avoided colliding with Charlie and Duffy, who were both a little flushed and giggling like schoolkids. "Um, hi. I didn't think you were working today?" He remarked to Charlie. As for Duffy, well, he hadn't even been aware that she was back in the country nevermind back in Holby!

"Erm, yeh, just had to pop in to drop some paperwork off." Charlie explained hastily, avoiding looking at Duffy who was trying to catch his eye.

"Oh I see." Josh smirked as he gestured to his lip and gave Charlie a pointed look.

"Um... I'll explain later!" Charlie blushed, quickly wiping the lipstick mark from his lip. "I promised Duffy I'd give her a lift to the airport. Pint after your shift finishes?" He suggested.

"I look forward to it." Josh chuckled. "Nice to see you're keeping well Duffy." He added.

"Yeh, great to see you too Josh." She smiled.

Once they were back in Charlie's car Duffy burst into giggles. "Please apologise to Josh for me later!" She snorted.

"Yeh, I think he may have gotten a bit of an eyeful..." Charlie smirked, running his finger along the neckline of her dress that was now revealing a lot more of her cleavage than it had when they'd arrived at the hospital.

"Charlie!" She rolled her eyes, trust him!

Charlie laughed as he reversed out of the parking space and headed to the airport. Once there he accompanied her as far as he could. 

The mood between them was very different to the last time they'd been here. That time she couldn't wait to leave but now it broke her heart to even though she knew it was only for a short time. She sighed as she heard her flight being called for the final chance to board. "That's me." She confirmed sadly.

"Let me know as soon as you land. I don't care what time it is!"

She nodded and reluctantly stood up, away from his arms. She kissed him one last time and headed towards the gate.

She was about to head through it when she heard him shout "Wait!" and come running over.

"Charlie! I really have to..!" Her words were muffled by his lips crushing against hers once more.

"I love you." He grinned, the biggest, dopiest smile on his face.

She blushed. "I love you too. I'm already counting down the days." She added shyly.

"You and me - together forever." He smiled. "Now go before I decide to refuse to let you board that plane!" He laughed.

Duffy showed her ticket and went through the gate, walking backwards giggling til she could see Charlie no more.

Even though he couldn't see the planes from the main building Charlie refused to leave til he saw on the board that her plane was safely in the air. He looked at the clock. Shit! He was going to be late to meet Josh..!


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't know why you're so nervous mum..!" Jake teased as he watched his mum pace the floor of the airport arrivals hall.

Though the children knew that Charlie and Louis were travelling over to come live with them they hadn't yet been told the whole truth of the situation. Duffy had felt it best to explain that to them together with Charlie once things had settled down a bit.

Peter had guessed there was something more going on but had decided it was best not to ask his mum too many questions. He just really hoped that she didn't screw things up this time. It wasn't like she had the best track record with relationships...

Charlotte was jumping up and down excitedly, she'd drawn Charlie a picture and she couldn't wait to show it to him.

Paul sighed at his sister's giddiness. He was sulking because his mum hadn't let him bring his skateboard with him to the airport. He'd been so close to getting the hang of a new trick!

"They're here!" Charlotte exclaimed. She began to run towards Charlie and Louis but Duffy dove forwards to catch her before she got lost in the crowd.

"Woah, woah!" Duffy chided softly.

Louis looked nervous the closer they got but before Charlie had chance to reassure him once more Charlotte wriggled free of her mother's hold and threw herself at Charlie.

"You're here!" Charlotte squealed. "It was sooooo long! I did you a picture!" She babbled, thrusting the slightly crumpled piece of paper at him.

Charlie smiled at his daughter's infectious excitement. "Its beautiful!" He declared as he looked at the picture. "You drew this all by yourself?"

"Yes." Charlotte pointed to each figure in turn. "This is you and mummy and Peter and Jake and Paul and Louis."

"We'll have to put it on the wall." Charlie smiled.

"Charlotte! Give them a chance to breathe!" Duffy sighed indulgently. "Sorry." She smiled at Charlie, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"It's OK. I'm excited to see you all too." Charlie grinned. "Hi boys, you've all grown so much!" He gasped.

They all greeted him with varying degrees of enthusiasm which made their mum giggle. "Welcome to paradise!" She remarked with a hint of sarcasm to her tone.

Charlie chuckled, a corny comeback on the tip of his tongue. He lent forwards and gave her a soft kiss, conscious of how closely Peter was watching them. "Let's head home." He smiled contentedly, wrapping his arm around Duffy's shoulders.


End file.
